I am realizing something absolutely ridiculous: I can stress myself out trying to de-stress. Can anyone relate?! (Please say yes please say yes…) Particularly when I know I have a busy week coming up, I try to hoard rest time as if it will last me throughout the coming days.
I do this spiritually, too. I can get myself all in a tizzy trying to store up peace and joy and love for the week ahead, like the Israelites hoarding manna when God told them only to gather enough for that day.
If you are familiar with the story, you know that the people who stockpiled manna found that it didn’t last them forever. In fact, it lasted only a day and then rotted. Similarly, I don’t think God intends for me to “stockpile” these fruits of the Spirit like I’m going to the grocery store to load up for the week. He wants me to rely on Him each day, in each moment, and He promises to faithfully provide what I need when I need it.
Jesus tells us not to worry about tomorrow because each day has enough trouble of its own. Instead of wasting energy worrying about what tomorrow might bring, we are told to “keep in step with the Spirit,” and to trust that in each moment, His grace will be sufficient.
I wonder if, on some level, I’m trying to hoard these feelings of peace and joy when I can because I don’t trust that God will provide them for me each day. Do I really believe what Lamentations says, that His mercies are new every morning? That He longs to show us compassion, and delights in giving grace? I wonder.
Living a life in step with the Spirit is a dynamic, daily adventure. It isn’t like going to the ATM, where we can just withdraw a bunch of money and then not have to be inconvenienced again for awhile. It makes sense, because Jesus is clear in that He wants to draw us into a relationship with Himself, not a business deal or a long-distance pen pal thing. This relationship involves daily trust and communication.
I’m realizing how silly it is for me to treat the weekends as if they are my only time of rest and peace. It’s funny because my weeks often bring me so much joy- I love my job, I love where I live, I love doing daily life with Josh. Although the weekday grind can feel stressful at times, there is no reason to believe that Jesus won’t come through for me in those moments and offer His abundant grace.
So here’s to enjoying the weekend, resting in the fact that we never have to hoard the good stuff that God delights in giving us each day.