A giving of self
If I’m being honest, I’ve been feeling a little discouraged about my writing lately. It seems like everyone else is doing it better, and as Josh gently reminded me: a lot of them are. That’s just the nature of things—there will always be someone better than you.
Getting bogged down in comparison happens. It’s normal. But I have to be willing to get up out of the pit, scrape the mud off my boots, and keep walking along my own path, surrendering to where it leads.
I have to remind myself why I write. If it’s to be The Best at something, or to impress others, or to gain love and approval, I should probably go ahead and quit right now. That is a battle I will never win, and it’s exhausting to boot. Why do I always forget that perfectionism is the enemy of so much good in my life?
I write because it brings me joy. It helps me process the world, record memories, and see the beauty right in front of me. I feel like when I was born, God handed me a pen and paper and said, “Here—these are the tools I’m giving you to navigate your life. Use them well.”
Using them well, to me, means writing for my own joy but also writing as a way to serve others. Maybe one day my children will read my words and be reminded of how much I loved them, how grateful I was to be their mother. Maybe just one person will read my words and feel comforted or encouraged by them. Maybe some days that one person is me.
So, this is me digging myself out of the pit of self-pity and comparison the only way I know how: through writing. This is me declaring that creativity matters, vulnerability matters, showing up when maybe no one is there but you matters. This is me reminding myself to keep going.